1.
in particular, I don’t like mentioning you because that means I have to remember how awfully stupid and immature I was (still am, though).
but you were my ground zero, and the romances in my stories became oh so tragically romantic because of you, so maybe I should thank you for that.
2.
you are my dearest what-ifs, and honestly, no allegories will do you justice, but this is all I had:
you are an isotope long past its half-life, but you remain in that small space within my heart, fading away in a negative exponential rate, never totally gone.
and I put a small adoration for your existence in every fictional romance I’ve written so far, a manifestation of every longing that burns me whenever you share a song that you like because, stars, I can’t help but yearning for a moment with you just once and another once and another once.
but then I remember that you’ve implicitly given me this much; and that’s okay, I’ll cherish every crumble.
3.
it was so short, but you were once important to me, and you made me realize that I always, and will always, fell for kindness.
forgive me for loving you when I was still a broken soul.
4.
you taught me so many things and revealed to me so many things and despite me crushing every hidden blooming flower during those times, I do acknowledge that my current attitude towards people was cemented by our conversations.
thank you for understanding me.
5.
you were not a flower, you were a forest.
at some point, I remember giving such a precious tagline because the entire note and the rest of the pile were totally written for one being and it’s you–who knows that you’ll break my heart at the end of the month?
but hey, that’s okay, because the three weeks we spent together was never a waste, and you are still the greatest teacher that ensures me I could love oh so wholefully and still get mad over mundane mistakes and still fall deeper over simple things.
upon all these bittersweet moments I hold dear in my arms, i hope u forgive.
I’ve always wondered how it feels to fall for a kindred spirit, an anima, and suddenly you appeared before my very eyes, a charming chaos, a Hansel who crosses a lake along with a simple duck, carrying various movie recommendations and calming playlists and late-night musing and oh, oh, oh! is this what ‘thrill’ feels like?
7.
reflecting back to those simple times, I can’t help but claim once more: you were a wish come true.
I’m sorry for half-lying; I told you that I never in love with someone when in fact I was in love with you too, and let me tell you the real truth: you look so charming.
8.
Please accept this apology for being too cocky; I thought love grows in baby steps, but a couple epochs later I realized that I’ve forgotten to plant the seeds and it hurts us both.
the scar hasn’t fully healed yet, but I need to thank you for letting me go.
6.
this is how I picture you now: a harbor right beside a sunny beach, where the sound of waves lulls you to sweet slumber and you’ll wake up feeling wonderful (because that is what you always are, a wonderful existence, a soothing salve).
this time I want to apologize for intruding once more despite the goodbyes we have conveyed to each other, but my wish upon you still the same: that the world recognizes your greatness, that they know how precious you are.
no second passed without feeling like crossing a sea of sharks on a tightrope, and claiming that I’m content with the current will be a huge lie, and yet I still want to say that I’m happy with this feeling.
maybe it’s because I just adore you so much.
—
to a**n, the lovely girl in my life,
sorry for loving the imperfect imaginary version of you.
—ez, regards
Ez's Poems 